Does anybody want to get me a) a belated birthday present, or b) an early Christmas present? Because I have decided what I want.
http://jon.hostcentrel.com/seduction.html.
Not only does this amazing product promise I will get "laid like a drunk monkey," it will teach me how to "bed virgins, married women, conservatives, catholics, strippers, younger women, older women - even LESBIANS or several lesbians at once." And as a special bonus, I can also get the "Golden Orgasm guide to bringing any woman to mind-blowing multiple orgasm every time!" I can "learn how [I] can use the power of hynosis to make women orgasm from [my] voice or touch alone." PLUS, (as if this was not enough!) "[I] can use it as a 'reset button' if she ever gives [me] trouble - just like [my] stupid computer!"
It is only $99.95, and it comes with workbooks and CDs! Plus, the developer of this amazing hypnosis system promises a moneyback guarantee if it doesn't work for you -- although he claims that if it doesn't work you're either "just gay, or can't speak the native language." So I suppose this kit can also act as the acid test to finally determine once and for all if I really am a homo. See? It has so many uses!
I do have to say that ArtStudent got a little excited when I told her about this, and mentioned the possibility of "bedding" several lesbians at once. So clearly, she thinks this could help her out as well. Do us both a favor. Provide me with hours and hours of laughing my gay little ass off, and provide ArtStudent with an orgy. Everybody wins!
p.s. It comes with workbooks. It comes with getting laid workbooks.
p.p.s. Did I fucking mention that it has WORKBOOKS??? I am positively beside myself.