The heat, combined with unemployment, has clearly rendered my updating abilities woefully inadequate. Things keep happening about which I mean to write, but as soon as I sit down to do so, I think, "Eh, it's too hot. Why bother?" So be thankful, gentle reader, for the Herculean effort this is taking right now.
A brief bit of catch-up would seem to be in order.
Sunday. Gay Pride. Or, as one friend likes to call it, "Will and Grace host the Parade of Roses!" The major salient points I would like to share with you regarding this day:
1) Homos get fucking pushy when they want to get to a crowded bar to order up their Cosmos.
2) I was forcibly made out with by a scarily large Swedish man named Karl. A packet of gum fell out of a hole in his back pocket, and I brought this fact to his attention. He shoved his ass in my face (I was sitting on steps at the time) and yelled "STICK IT IN!!" I explained that the gum would only fall out of his pocket again if I did so, and in response he turned the other cheek (get it? Ha!) and yelled it again. Then his pushy lesbian friend grabbed my arm and demanded he and I be introduced, at which point he slobbered his HUGE FLOPPY LIPS all over my nice non-floppy ones. Then I left.
3) You know what we get just for being homos? If you guessed "Fireworks!" then you would be right. We get our very own fireworks display just for being queer. I hardly need mention that it was a very tasteful and attractive display. I also know that the fireworks were particularly revolutionary, thanks to a man who I can only assume had a PhD in Fireworkology and regularly proclaimed the "new!" nature of each different type of explosion.
Since then, I suppose not much has happened, leaving my original declaration that I need to "catch up" sounding fairly unnecessary. Mainly I have spent my time sweating, applying for jobs that most likely will never acknowledge I exist, being very hot, sweating some more, and doing some laundry. This weather renders me very sleepy -- and that combined with no job makes Fulminous a very slothful boy indeed.