I am feeling prolific today, so I will share with you this heartwarming story.
WARNING: The following story contains references to a penis.
So I woke up this morning to three alarms going off in tandem. Mine, StyleGirl's, and See's. We all got ready together and walked and got coffee before our respective commutes. It fucking ROCKED and I think we should make a habit of it.
The monkeywrench in this new morning routine concerns my underwear. I started to get out of bed but suddenly realized that I was no longer wearing my underwear. I had gone to bed wearing it, but it had apparently disappeared. And I had that perennial boy's problem concerning waking up -- and I did not really want to introduce my roommates to my morning hard-on. [Ed: See, there is the penis reference about which you were warned.] So I crouch along wrapped in my comforter to turn off my alarm and leap back onto my bed, looking around for my underwear. It is NO. WHERE. Not in gap between bed and wall, not on pile of clothes, not wrapped up in comforter. And the morning problem is not going away because I keep thinking about it, and it certainly was not like anything could be done about it, what with roommates waking up and checking their email on my computer which is right across from my bed. So I am stuck there. Which I would not mind, except I do not get paid for being in my bed. I mean, I'm sure SOME people get paid for being in bed (not MY bed, just A bed somewhere), and while I would rate my own prowess in that arena next to any of 'em, *I* don't get paid for it. And so I am annoyed and frustrated and vaguely embarrassed so I flop over with a huff of annoyance and suddenly discover that my underwear are, in fact, underneath my pillow.
I have no idea how they got from their usual resting place (that of girding my loins) to their new home (that refuge of tooth fairies everywhere). It was mystifying. And then I had to try to put them on surreptitiously under the covers so my roommates would not see me being all nakey, because we are just not like that.
Then I sat up and put on some pants and all was, once again, right with the world.
I cannot believe I just actually used the word "loins" in a sentence.