Snippets of conversation in recent days, wherein I am represented as bold and everyone else is not.
So wish me luck at the protest this weekend, mom.
Luck? Why do you need luck? You aren't putting yourself in harm's way or anything, are you?
No, I just mean--
This isn't dangerous, is it?
No, it's not dangerous, I just said wish me luck because--
Because if you think it's dangerous, you really shouldn't go and give him the satisfaction of getting you into trouble.
It was just a figure of speech.
Oh. Okay then. Good luck.
I've decided I need more slang. I want to start using "pants."
Pants?
Yeah. Slangily. Like saying, "That movie was so pants."
Does that mean it's good or bad?
That means it's way lame. It's pants.
Do you just want to get cheese sticks?
I think we should get a Mambo Combo.
Ohmygod, I'm *so* excited that you still call it that too! I'm so mad they changed the name to something lame.
Yeah, Triple Play is pants.
Except could we get something besides the wings part of it?
Total! Swap 'em for cheese sticks.
God damn motherfucking piece of shit!
Please, do not talk to my computer that way.
It's not human, you know. I'm not going to hurt its feelings. You know that you're just transferring human emotion to an inanimate object.
Yes, I am well aware of the concept of anthropomorphism. I do not see anything wrong with treating my cubic wonder like my first born child. And I ask again for you to stop talking to it that way. Or else you don't get to use it.
That's absurd. That might be the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
I invite you to set up your own computer and talk to it any way you like.
Fine. I'll be nice.
Thank you.
No, you can't be tired! Come play in the city with me!
Owww...I don't wanna get up.
Pleeeeaase?
(sigh) I finally get tired and I'm supposed to go into the city. I guess I have some kind of duty to be young or something. I'll be right there.
She should be here soon. I think she sounded pretty wasted.
So that means that tonight is either going to be a tremendous amount of fun, or an unmitigated disaster.
But either way, it won't be dull, will it?
I love this song!
Me too!
(sung) Leeeeavin' on a jetplane
(sung) Don't know when I'll be back again
(sung) Oh babe, I hate to go
Hi, boys. You picked a good time to leave the apartment.
Yeah? What else happened?
She left. Gone. Heading to California to stay with her friend Becky. Do they really have to be playing *this* song right now?