I would like to take advantage of this GREAT GAPING GAP in my so-called workday to relate the story of one of my dreams from last night.
In the fuzzy sense of dreamlogic, I was perfectly aware that there are magic people and things and there are non-magic people and things. I began by taking a baseball-sized lump of gold (magic) from the magic people. In the fuzzy sense of dreamlogic, I was aware that they were bad. I ran to the ocean to throw it in, and as I moved, the ball grew hotter and hotter, eventually scorching the flesh from my palms.
I should edit the last sentence, as I find the word "flesh" vaguely nauseating.
The tide caught the golden ball and washed it through a cave directly back to the magic people.
They were preparing a display of fish. A display that in the fuzzy sense of dreamlogic clearly was intended to show the superiority of fish (magic) to fish (normal). To punish me, they pinned me down and etched great spans of fish bones upon my arms and legs using knives and colored inks (both of which burned more than the ball), making me part of the exhibit.
I do not know which sort of fish I was intended to be. Not even using the fuzzy sense of dreamlogic.
It is 4:30. There are still no freely available snacks in the coffee room, nor is there coffee, execrable as it may be. However, I discovered a single worn dollar, known fondly as my "emergency dollar," placed in my wallet some time ago, as a hedge against utter pennilessness. In the months since its conception, I have seen the emergency dollar and wondered why I have it. "After all, what kind of emergency could be solved using a single dollar? Even a subway ride is $1.50."
I have answered my question, at long last. A single emergency dollar is enough to buy both a Mountain Dew and a packet of Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts, thus staving off collapse and preventing unseemly and highly audible rumblings, nay, gurgle-splashlings, (a veritable cornucopia of borborygms*, even) from one's stomach.
I must hope that I encounter no more emergencies between now and paycheck-cashing time on Friday. I am suddenly literally penniless and have no emergency dollars left to discover.
* With thanks to the Giganto-Vocab™ of Maigera.