In celebration of my most magical birthday, I am giving you all a present. Thirty four presents, as a matter of fact, which represent a full 22% of all digital photographs taken while my beloved Flex and I were in Walt Disney World. I know, I know. It is almost too much generosity for you to handle. Well, strap yourselves in, kiddies. Here we go!
To start with, take a moment, look back at the top of the screen, and say "ooooh" and "aaaaah" at the pretty castle! It is to get you into the mood, into the proper Disney Mindset.
So. Just in case you are new to this little fold, let us introduce ourselves, shall we? This is me, Fulminous. And this is my terminally sexy boy, Flexible. We went to Disney World together. How very terribly gay of us, I know.
I would like to take this moment to dispel a rumour or two about Florida, wherein Disney World resides. It is not always hot there. Sometimes, in fact, it is very very cold, and people build igloo castles. Or maybe that was a fake igloo castle intended for use in miniature golf. I forget.
One of the most exciting (and drunken) things we did was to meet up with Taydo and his friend the Canadian, for a night of debauchery at Pleasure Island. We started off acting pretty normally. Then, after a few drinks, we started to dance. The straight boy, the Canadian, looks like he is having fun there, right? Well, by the time we started to freaky-sandwich-dance him, he looks distinctly less comfortable. A few more drinks and he lightened up again, gettin' down with the best of 'em. He looks downright ecstatic here. Or insane. I do not know which.
The woman in that dipping-picture was one of a whole gaggle of thirty-to-forty-something bewigged women we met outside the clubs after last call. We danced together a lot. There was a dirty bachelorette who tried to take advantage of Flex. (A poke with a sharp stick, however, returned that interloping Lothario to flaccidity, and I reclaimed my guy by the power of overwhelming cuteness.) There was another woman who tried to take advantage of Taydo, (the previous picture has been edited, at Taydo's request), but I don't think he minded so much. I bet he was holding the camera for this one, too.
Finally we took our leave of Pleasure Island, and Taydo decided to give me and Flex a ride back to our hotel, rather than subjecting us to the late-night shuttlebus. Naturally, we got hopelessly lost, and had to ask for directions several times. Flex and I found some way to pass the time. I mean, looking as hot as THIS, how could I possibly restrain myself?
Flex decided to repay Taydo for the ride, and it seems that followed suit, thanking the Canadian for joining us, as seen here and here. Taydo must have gotten jealous of that, so he decided to get rid of my boyfriend by shoving him into an icebox. (Fret not, he was rescued shortly thereafter.)
Eventually we returned safely to the hotel, and sent Taydo and the Canadian tootling safely home themselves. Yes, that was a good night.
What else did we do in Disney World? I discovered how insanely adorable and yet wildly revolutionary Flex looks in tartan caps. (Please ignore the large plastic nipple that protrudes from said hat.) Seeing him in caps like that lead to what we got up to while floating slowly along "It's a Small World After All." (Thank goodness I did not think to break out the camera during our late-night tram-ride around Tomorrowland.)
I discovered Flex's penchant for taking pictures of me looking tough (please note my tattoo, of which I am still inordinately proud), surly, and moderately psychotic in turns.
I was molested by Winnie the Pooh. You cannot tell, but he is mercilessly tickling me there, and his other hand? Yeah. It was so on my ass. In the same toyshop, we found several books that have been written about people that I know. Here are the two books written about us.
Amidst all this activity, Flex and I definitely took plenty of time to relax, and have a lot more fun. A nice leisurely afternoon tea was a very pleasant break from things like safaris in Asia, which can be a little tiring.
What else? We met Mary Poppins, who is indeed practically perfect in every way. It was very difficult to not bust into an English accent the moment I saw her, though.
At the MGM Studios theme park, I managed to beat the 600-some other competitors to get into the Hot Seat for a crazy-exciting game of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!" Sadly, I only got up to 32,000 points (note, points and not dollars, although the grand prize would have been a three-day cruise). I will now always know that the Minto Cup is the championship trophy for lacrosse, and not curling, as Ralph, the man on the other end of the "Phone-A-Complete-Stranger" lifeline swore it was. When asked with whom I was visiting Disney World, I proudly pointed up to our seats and said, "My boyfriend," which the host very quickly glossed over ("All right, hi, and on to the questions!"), much to my amusement. Even more entertaining was the next morning, when we were recognized in out hotel gift shop by a woman from Manhattan and her two teenage kids, who were very excited to meet Flex, as they hadn't had a chance to see his picture on the screen the day before. It was very possibly the cutest thing I have seen, maybe ever.
So. That was a whirlwind summary of our vacation. Let me close by reminding you once again of the magical wonder that is Disney:
Thank you. That is all.