Ful: Hi!
The Kate: Well, hello!
Ful: can I PLEASE tell you how much I need a shower this morning.
Ful: It's so not even funny.
Ful: I'm thinking about going to the gym across the street that I haven't been to in, say, SIX MONTHS
Ful: just to take a shower.
The Kate: Oooh!
The Kate: take pictures!
Ful: HAHAHA NO!
The Kate: I mean, I'll bet that would help with the sticky!
The Kate: Although
The Kate: you'd probably be sticky again by the time you crossed the street
Ful: Would it be creepy, you think,
Ful: to just go into the gym and put my stuff in a locker and shower and then put my stuff back on again and leave?
Ful: I mean, that seems kind of...sketchy.
The Kate: Well, the option is working out
The Kate: Doing a workout
The Kate: For the sole purpose of showering
Ful: I'd probably be sticky again, true, but at least then I'd only be sticky from heat-sweatiness.
Ful: See, Flex came over last night...and then we, yeah. And then we fell asleep. And then I overslept and so I didn't have a chance to take a shower before I got to work.
Ful: And so I'm kind of...you know. Covered in, like, sex. And I really don't like being covered in sex with I'm at WORK.
The Kate: OH
Ful: Right.
The Kate: So it's more than heat sticky
The Kate: GOT IT
Ful: Maybe I should go at like 3,
Ful: when the gym is very empty
Ful: so nobody will notice.
The Kate: Right!
The Kate: Not a soul!
Ful: Sadly I can't even work out because I don't have any workout clothes!
Ful: OH NO and I'm wearing my underwear with the big PAINT STAIN on the ASS!!
Ful: Oh this gets worse and worse!
Ful: AND I TORE A HOLE IN THEM WHEN I WAS PUTTING THEM ON!
The Kate: HAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ful: AAIEE! I have paint-stained torn underwear!!!!!
Ful: I'm going to DIE!!
The Kate: Dare I ask?
The Kate: I'm DYING
The Kate: but I don't want to pry
Ful: I just stepped on the leg-hole while I was pulling them up.
Ful: Nothing too tawdry. (laugh)
Ful: And I'm wearing a tanktop that the boy bought for me yesterday that says "COCKDIESEL" on it.
Ful: What is a cockdiesel?? I have NO IDEA.
The Kate: (okay, BWHAHA!)
The Kate: But what about the PAINT?
The Kate: you were painting in your underpants?
The Kate: And then they made the laundry circulation again?
Ful: No, I have a pair of Umbros that I paint in
Ful: and they're thin enough, apparently, to get paint on my undies when I back my ass up into the wet wall.
The Kate: oh, naturally
The Kate: backing your ass up into wet paint will do that
Ful: Right.
Ful: How am I possibly supposed to take a shower at the gym NOW??
The Kate: you'd really need to towel-coreograph something FIERCE
Ful: OH MY GOODNESS
Ful: I just discovered what "cockdiesel" means.
The Kate: HAHHAHAHHA!
Ful: Apparently it is hip-hop slang for "Very Muscular."
The Kate: Oh, naturally!
Ful: So it would be FITTING for a gym.
Ful: Except I'm NOT very muscular!
Ful: My shirt lies!
The Kate: It can be your distraction!
The Kate: The glint of the shirt will distract from your holey, paint-stained underpants
Ful: Everyone will be so busy thinking, "Hey....waitaminute! HE'S not cockdiesel!" that they won't notice my underwear
The Kate: RIGHT
Ful: or the fact that I came in, slipped into the shower room, and left immediately afterwards.
The Kate: RIGHT
The Kate: It's all good
The Kate: the shirt saves the day
Ful: Like I was just going to the gym for some mid-afternoon showertime assignation.
The Kate: no biggie
The Kate: it's all cool
Ful: Hooray for my Cockdiesel shirt!