This is an example of why AIM saves my life every day. If I did not have my tremendously entertaining friends to talk to, I might fall over and die.
Neff: I've just written the best congrats-on-your-pregnancy card ever!
Ful: Really?
Ful: What does it say?
Neff: "Dear [Friend],
Neff: Please accept my congratulations on your proposed infant of this coming August.
Neff: However, I must remind you that under the terms of our 1997 wager, and in recognition of your dreadful performance during that wager, your firstborn child - the aforementioned infant due August - devolves to my care.
Neff: As a friend, I can only assume that your failure to date to propose terms of surrender is an oversight.
Ful: I am so mind-bendingly impressed that you just used the word "devolves."
Neff: That said, given the financial constraints imposed by my burgeoning career as a supervillain - to which the addition of childrearing expenses would be frankly paralysing - I propose a compromise settlement under which you would retain the child itself, while I would retain naming, aerial, and mineral rights.
Neff: I hope this proposal meets with your satisfaction and that we will therefore not require recourse to battles either legal or mercenary in nature.
Neff: All my best to you and to your husband, and again: congratulations. I look forward to hearing from you.
Neff: Isn't that the best card ever?!
Ful: That is,
Ful: hands down,
Ful: without a doubt,
Ful: the BEST CARD **EVER**.
Neff: Thanks!
Neff: I'm very pleased with it.
Ful: You should be.
Ful: It seems like there should be something you could DO with that card,
Ful: other than just send it off to one friend.
Neff: I'm going to file it away in case any of the rest of you get knocked up.
Ful: I don't think I'm going to.
Neff: Possibly not.
Neff: But you know what they say about the future!
Ful: What's that?
Neff: It's full of big pregnant fags.