Me: Hi! I am in a car. What are you doing?
Taydo: J is getting a tattoo! Where are you going in a car?
Me: Tattoo? Of what? Where?
Taydo: He is getting the 2 headed dragon on his leg colored.
Me: I am so jealous!
Taydo: I'M not! I am getting pierced though!
Me: YOU ARE NOT!!!! REALLY?!?
Taydo: 2 in the upper right ear.
Me: Oh, just your ear? Never mind about my enthusiasm.
Taydo: Well where do you think I would get pierced?
Me: Somewhere more interesting than your ear, you pansy.
Taydo: Fuck off, ass monkey.
Me: At least do a tongue or a nipple, you asshat.
Taydo: No.
Me: That is why you are a twelve year old clothes wearing asshat. Love you!
Taydo: you dont have anything other than your ears done! hookers who live in glass houses should not throw pumps.
Me: I had my tongue done twice, thank you.
Taydo: Oh. well that doesnt make you less of an ass monkey.
Me: BF says I can't text you anymore because it is too irritating.
Taydo: Tell him he's an ass monkey too.
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I use the above text message conversation to illustrate the fact that Taydo said the gayest thing ever, what with that "hookers and pumps" line. And also that he is a pansy.