It is nine thirty ay emm on a Tuesday morning, and I am at work. Now, this might seem like small potatoes to most of you workaday types, but to a computer programmer such as myself and the other developers in my office, 9:30 in the morning is a pretty fucking stupid time to be awake, much less have the expectation of rational, coherent, logical thought necessary to do things like write code.
Nevertheless, yesterday we were informed that, after four years in operation, my company is issuing a formal Time Policy. The non-programmers of the office decided that 9:30 to 5:30 were our standard hours, and any deviation from this must be approved by one's supervisor. The developers, on the other hand, tend to follow hours more like 11-7, but it seems that nobody asked us. Being the very good employee that I am (naturally!), I was in at 9:30 on the dot...and the supervisor with whom I would have to discuss any scheduling abnormalities? Nowhere to be seen. Surprise!!
To make matters more interesting, this morning was also my building's semi-annual fire drill. Five minutes after I got here, blearily slurping my first gulp of coffee, the alarm politely goes off and everyone gathers in the stairwell, as instructed. And then the REAL alarm goes off, reverberating back and forth up and down the stairwell: "BLAAAAAAAAAAART. pingping. BLAAAAAAAAAAART. pingping." And we just had to stand there, directly underneath the speakers. Not moving up or down the stairs, as this was only a drill. Standing there. Just taking it. Let me tell you, to a non-awake boy who is just having his very first sip of caffeine, that undoubtedly qualifies as cruel and unusual indeed.
However, horrendous as the fire drill may have been -- it was tailor-made to allow the suits to notice my prompt arrival. My instinctive smile and brief "hello" may even have convinced them that my brain was functioning; another plus. And to top it off, I am OUT at 5:30 tonight, yo. Oh-You-Tee out!
For now, though? I need a new cup of coffee.