Each morning, I have to get a new photo ID. As a consultant, I have yet to receive a regular pass that lets me come and go without running my satchel through the metal detector. Also, I get to have a brand new picture taken of me almost every day!
At this point, the guards do not even bother to call upstairs -- they see me, sigh knowingly, ask when I am getting a regular ID, and then print out one of my many photos stored in their guard computer. It has gotten to the point that I know which guard computer to go to if I want an ID for the day that has the vaguely-smiling-yet-not-completely-cracked-out-even-though-the-light-makes-me-look-bald picture, and which to go to if I want the surly-don't-fucking-talk-to-me-today picture. I absolutely avoid the too-blurry-to-recognize-me picture, and actively cringe when I see the laughing-unshaven-bleary-puffyeyed-give-me-some-coffee-before-I-fall-down picture.
Also, my name changes regularly: Chris. CHRIS. CHRISTPHER. Christopher. And my favorite, Chris5. And on top of that, can someone explain to me why they hold up their digital cameras and manage to snap pics of me that get cut off at the lower lip? It does nothing to assuage my fear that my mom was right, and I do actually have an abnormally long head.