I have given myself permission to hate the following items.
Weak lemonade.
Paris Hilton.
Chapped lips.
Not having magic powers.
Tofu.
Fakey digital shots of Jabba the Hutt.
Really long toenails.
Tie-dye.
Wet shoes.
Dry counties.
Shrimp.
Not being a spy.
Pot.
Hearing people poo.
Poo.
Cough syrup.
Dreadlocks.
Not having superpowers.
Waiting.
Secrets.
"Incentivize."
"Value-added."
"Leverage."
Nickels.
Single-ply kleenex.
Not being a movie star.
Polyfiber bedpillows.
Shorts.
Razorbumps.
Anticlimactic endings.
Driving in snow.
Powdered non-dairy creamer.
My cell phone.
Timidity.
Sporks.
Cartoon-animated genitalia.
Tapeworms.
White socks.
Forgetting things.
Bombay Sapphire.
Dells.
Erasable pens.
Botox.
Being cold.
Portapotties.
and
Morning radio talk shows.