On Sunday, I take another step in the long-belated completion of my bachelor's degree. I'll be moving back to Colorado for a month to take a summer school class at my old college - apparently I can't just transfer my two remaining classes back, presumably because that would be too easy. I have to actually take a class on campus.
For those of you following along at home, I have no car. In order to ensure I get to class every day, and because I told my mom that living with her, in her house that is an easy hour and a half away from Boulder, would be completely mental, I'll be living in a dorm.
A dorm.
Probably the oldest person to ever live in a dorm in the history of the world, so if you ever see a category for that in Guinness, it'll probably be me. At least I managed to get a room with a bathroom, and its own kitchen, so I can make my own food. I'm definitely too old and have too jaded a palate (ha!) to cope with the residence dining halls. I'll probably be in trouble without them, actually, because in Colorado you can pretty much just order in pizza or Chinese. I don't know what I'm going to do without the ability to ring up Jack's and order a hangar steak with mushrooms and mashed potatoes, or Mango Thai for my golden curry puff and sweet black noodle with chicken. I remember my freshman year ordering from Pizza Time over and over, because although their pizza was total crap, if you saved up ten box tops you got a free cheese pizza (which was also crap, but free crap). I wonder if I still have their number.
My mom is also a total loony, because I say that I have to buy a set of extra-long twin sheets, right, for my dorm-room bed. She says to me, "Why can't you just use a set of my sheets?" "Because, mom. You have a king-sized bed." "It's just for a MONTH. Can't you just ROUGH IT and have sheets that don't fit for a MONTH?"
No.
No, I can't. I'm already going to be IN A DORM and in a TWIN SIZED BED. I have not slept in a twin-sized bed for seven years. I have been too big for a twin-sized bed for twelve years. I will, at MINIMUM, have SHEETS that FIT, instead of sheets that have been wrapped around my mattress and dangle loosely on the floor. And you know what? They don't even MAKE 600-thread count sheets in extra-long twin. I'll be lucky to get 250. AND THAT IS ROUGHING IT ENOUGH FOR ME.