Hi there! Welcome, welcome. I'm glad you came to the open house today! Can I ask -- where'd you hear about it? Oh, another one from Craigslist, huh? Yeah, we've had a few people from there show up today. I think -- what? yeah. Yeah, it is pretty useful. So, shall we get right to the tour?
As you can see, the architecture is quite striking. Red tile roofs, local natural stone. Well, yes, all the buildings around here look exactly the same, but that doesn't mean each and every one of them is somehow less special, right?
Let's head inside. Here's the front door to the unit. It comes fully furnished, and it's all done quite tastefully, as I think you'll see. Take a look around the office. It's right next door to the bedroom, which actually comes with its own security guard. ...Yes, the sea-foam sheets are a really exceptional touch, don't you think? Over this way is the closet, which has more than enough room for anything you can throw at it. Oh, yes! Those are, in fact, three belts hanging there! Three! I know! It's crazy!
Moving further into the unit, well... This is where we get to the really special touches. For example, this stunning entertainment center, right next to the amply-stocked library. Over here is the remarkably spacious kitchen, which comes with plenty of storage. I think the last thing to check out might be the bathroom, which is enormous and comes with all the latest amenities.
I think that covers it, really -- unless you have some questions? Hmm. Any problems with the neighborhood? Well, not really, it's quite a charming area. All of the neighbors get along work at getting along well. No, really! I mean, there have been a few undesirables, but as you can clearly see, they're all running away.
Anything else? No? Okay, great. I think you have my cell -- give me a call if you think of anything else, or you want to fill out an application. Just let me know! Thanks again for stopping by!
* Yes, yes, I'm posting a lot all of a sudden. Color me bored, and also color me making up for lost time. And yes, those signs are both actually posted in the entryway to my building.