My mom just sent me money for pants, because she's horrified that I only own one pair of jeans. (I think I just killed Taylor. Quick, clap your hands if you believe in fairies.) I thought it would be a pretty simple process to get a new pair, but no.
I don't understand what would possess the designers over at Abercrombie to revamp their denim, and in so doing, create a product line that is invariably full of holes and/or covered in paint.
I'm not even kidding. There isn't a pair of jeans in the store that isn't "authentically distressed." I tell you what, the day I'm too feeble to distress my own damned jeans through normal wear-and-tear is the day I should give up and start wearing polyester track suits and living in Boca Raton.
Similarly, the people over at Express should also be taken to task for redesigning a perfectly acceptable pair of pants. When I try on jeans in a changing room, I certainly don't expect to turn around and see a saggy behind in the mirror, and unfortunately that's just what happened. What happened to your trim, well-cut jeans, Express For Men? Why have you forsaken me?
Now I get to wander from store to store, hoping to find the right fit. I don't know what it is about my lower half, but something isn't built quite standard there, as it's the very rare pair of jeans, or shorts for that matter, that manage to sit on my hips right. Now both places I've bought jeans at for years don't work any more! It's a tragedy, I say. Maybe I'll swing by the Gap, or Lucky, after work tonight...
(This message has been brought to you by the Secretly Delighted To Have a Reason To Go Shopping Committee.)